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SEXY FOOTBALL?

4:00pm Thursday, 4th June 2009

It is often claimed, both by fans and players, that scoring in a football game can be, well, to put no finer point on it, better than 'scoring' in bed. The physical release involved for those who play and those who watch them play - and the sense of joy accompanying it - has frequently been described in sexual terms.

Recent scientific support for the erotic nature of football's pleasures has emerged from work conducted by researchers at the Institute of Neurological Sciences in Glasgow. They wired up a bunch of male Rangers supporters and observed their brains while they watched video clips of crucial goals last season. (Their partners may be disappointed to learn that the researchers only allowed three seconds of film for the 'build up' - and a mere four for the goal itself....).

Their results showed that the part of the brain associated with intense pleasure, and also with arousal, is most active at the time a goal is scored, compared to other times.

For supporters and players, the scoring of a goal also usually triggers close physical contact with fellow fans and team mates. Mass hugging occurs on the terraces; and on the pitch, hair is tousled and even kisses exchanged. And of course, the context of the goal can considerably enhance the experience. As Manchester City's Trevor Sinclair said, prior to a match with Man United, 'Scoring in a derby is better than sex.'

In 2007, Iain Dowie declared Coventry's late equaliser was 'better than sex' after his return to Crystal Palace finished in a draw; in contrast, Hasselbaink insisted during his time at Chelsea that anyone who thought scoring was better than sex "wasn't having sex properly".

But victory, too, acts as a major aphrodisiac. In 2002, after Brazil's World Cup success, Ronaldo reckoned winning the title was better than any close encounter with the opposite sex. "Both are very hard to stay without but I'm sure sex wouldn't be as rewarding as this World Cup," he said. "It's not that sex isn't good but the World Cup is every four years and sex is not." He added: "I'm going to have sex in a few moments."

For coaches, it's the players' 'staying without' that worries most of them, and some players do claim that having sex too close to a game isn't good. Freddie Ljungberg found it affected a footballer's most important tools:

"I usually don't have sex. Not on the same day. I say "no, thanks". I guess that, mentally, I want to keep the feeling in my feet and that's why. I think the feeling sort of disappears out of your feet if you have sex before a game. I have tried before and my feet felt like concrete when you are supposed to kick the ball."

But the last word has to go to Berti Vogts, "Sex before the game? That's up to the players, but it's unacceptable during the break."

It may not be the 'oldest profession' in the world, but football is certainly a funny old game.

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